The Girlfriend's ill... stomache bug. I tried to be comforting when she woke me at four in the morning with her big puppy eyes and her sad pout, but in all honesty I was too tired to say much more than "want me to get some medication for you?" and "poor sweetie". I vaguely remember her going to the bathroom before I fell asleep again, but after that I was out like a light. Until I woke up at 6am. And she wasn't lying next to me. In my imagination she'd fallen from a flight of stairs and had been lying there wounded for hours. Or she'd banged her head on the toilet bowl and was lying unconscious on the floor of the bathroom. I rushed to the bathroom and there she was... lying on the floor, wrapped in a blanket. "Oh, I must have fallen asleep?"

Who the hell manages to fall asleep on the floor?